Famous Last Words
by pyrexprodigy
Summary: Len really needs to get over this weird crush he has on the literal grim reaper. It's just making her job harder. Lenku, rated M for murder and dark humor. Rating might change. Also an animal dies, so if that bothers you, I would avoid this.


**So. I have no excuse really. Um. Enjoy?**

**WARNINGS: murder, suicide, casual mentions of murder, and rather dark humor I guess? I don't know. **

* * *

"You know, you're just making things that much more difficult for me."

Len turns around, the red stains on his hands hidden behind his back. Like that'll make a difference. She already knows what he's done. No point in being bashful about it now.

"Oh, you know you missed me," he replies with a grin. From beneath her black hood, teal eyes glare out at him with an immense heat he can't even begin to describe. It's obvious from that expression she won't be admitting to anything, let alone missing him. A human.

"Look, it's been nice seeing you again, but you really need to stop doing this," she replies, scythe in hand as she bends to collect the soul of the victim on the ground. She wasn't a nice person, Len made sure of that. A history of child abuse and alcoholism made it easy enough to argue the point that she deserved it. Besides, Len reflects with disgust, wrinkling his nose at the sight of her ashen face, she's not going to be missed. This reaper, or whatever she is, was being missed. Sorely, in fact, by the human who had fallen for her.

He shrugs. "I don't see why. It was only a matter of time before she hurt someone herself. Besides," he offers the reaper a grin, resisting the urge to drag a delicate hand through her long, teal hair, "I got to see you again.

The reaper stands up, the soul in her hand. It's cupped like it's a precious, beautiful thing, and that's how it looks. Glowing and gentle in the palm of the girl's hand. Len knows that soul is probably disgusting, though.

"And what a joy it's been," she says sarcastically. "Seriously, if I see you again, I'm going to send you to hell myself."

Len's grin doesn't falter as she steps into nothing, vanishing into a world he can't follow her to. "I wouldn't mind," he whispers.

* * *

Len first sees her outside the apartment building, where his bed and his computer and all his personal worldly items are currently burning. Along with that hideous brown floral wallpaper, but that's no real loss. He's huddled there, outside, breathing in the soot from the building as the place burns, burns, burns like a log fire in the middle of summer. Against his twin sister, he shivers. They'd been renting the place together, having moved in shortly after high school. It's barely been a month. His luck is just the worst.

But then there she is. Against the grey backdrop of the cold winter morning, a figure in black stands out. It takes Len a moment to notice the scythe in her hand, and a moment longer to notice that she is a she. Next to him, Rin's hands hand found his, warm and comforting. But he's no longer watching the apartment. He's watching the girl, who stands beside an ambulance with a look of disinterest. Her hand has found the shoulder of Len's elderly neighbor, some old Norwegian broad with a gross parakeet. The woman is crying, and the figure in black waits patiently as she cries and cries, tears staining sooty cheeks and catching in the woman's wrinkled skin.

Len thinks he's passed out from shock when he sees her and the woman step through the air and vanish. But Rin brings him back to reality with a shake and a look of worry.

"The medic brought a blanket," Rin says. "Hey, can you hear me?"

"Huh? Yeah. Yeah, just…" he inhales thickly, "Sorry. Distracted."

Rin's smile warms him up more than the blanket. "Yeah. I figured."

The two of them are left huddled under a blanket, while Len watches his elderly neighbor get placed in the back of an ambulance.

The ambulance leaves.

There are no sirens.

* * *

The second time, Len finds himself in a much better situation. It's a break, maybe a month and a half later, and he and his sister are celebrating after finally, _finally _finding an apartment they can afford. Since the fire, they've been sleeping out on a friend's pull-out couch bed. It hasn't been comfortable, but it's worked so far.

Their mom is in town with them. She brought along a nice lunch, and Len can't believe how much he's missed her cooking. Lately, his meals consist of instant ramen and gross microwavable food. If he's lucky, he'll get a grilled cheese sandwich every now and then. Ah, the life of a poor college student.

It's just as he's biting into his favorite tuna sandwich that the body hits the ground. The whole Kagamine bunch jumps, scurrying towards the incident. It's unfortunate that Len can immediately tell what's happened. Figures, the first good day he's had in a while and someone decides to commit suicide while he eats lunch. That's what they get for eating under a bridge, he guesses.

While Rin titters and his mom phones the police, Len is frozen as a familiar figure steps out from behind a pillar, one of the many that hold up the bridge. It's the girl from that day. That day oh so long ago when his apartment and everything inside burned down to the ground. Len thinks that's an interesting way to meet (read: see) a pretty girl. Although he can't actually see her face that well, she's closer this time. He can see light bouncy off dark teal curls, pale fingers gripping the smooth wooden handle of her scythe as she reaches down, down towards the fallen man at her feet.

"What the hell are you doing?" Len shouts at her, from his safe distance away from the body. This causes both his mom and his sister to jump. Rin kicks over her iced tea in the process, ruining their mother's pretty blanket. You know, the one they had been eating on. The one Len never actually mentioned.

To his surprise, the girl at the body jumps as well. She turns to look at him, and it's in the instant he can properly see her eyes. Like two cats eye gems, the stand out against pale features. Her nose is a button in the center of her face, dusted with red and wrinkled at the sight of him.

Len is looking directly at her as she asks, "Wait. You can see me?"

Len's breath almost stops right then and there. Her voice is like wind chimes, loud and everywhere and echoing inside his head, which suddenly feels cavernous. Huge. That noise is bouncing, bouncing, bouncing inside his head and oh lord it's a beautiful noise.

Len doesn't get a chance to reply before she's gone, hand clutching a bright object he hadn't gotten a good look at before she vanished.

And he's left there, with a body and his family and no idea who the hell this girl is.

* * *

It's something like chance that brings Len to the hospital on that fine Spring day. He doesn't even know why he's come; it's not like he's worried about his sister or anything. Then again, his mom insists surgery is a big deal, so maybe it was just her nagging that got him here.

He waits in the lobby, sick people and doctors scampering around like crowded rats in a cage. There's a certain amount of satisfaction he gets from just watching them. He can't help the fascination he's had with the dying recently. After all, they're the reason he keeps seeing that gorgeous girl, whoever she may be.

Len doesn't expect to get called in to see Rin anytime soon and resigns himself to at least an hour of boredom. But to his surprise, a girl has wandered up to him, her bright eyes and ashen face unnervingly similar to that of… Well, better not think about that.

"Hey," she says, tugging on his shirt sleeve. She's maybe twelve but she's oh so much shorter than him. Thank God for growth spurts, he supposes. "Hey, you."

A perplexed look is all she receives, but it seems to be enough to send her face into spasms of joy. A grin breaks her cheeks wide open, teeth glaring at him in the bright hospital lighting.

"You can see me," she breathes like a rescued drowning victim. Len observes her. She's wearing a hospital gown, one that's maybe a bit too big for her, and her eyes are lined with crude purple eyeliner. She's got a weird hairstyle; short in the back with two messy dangly bits in front of her ears. Girls these days have the weirdest hairstyles, he decides.

"Uh, yeah," he agrees at last. "I can see you."

"That's great! Whenever I go up to anyone else, they've just been kind of… They're just ignoring me," she says. The sadness in her voice is obvious.

"Look, kid. Sorry that mommy doesn't love you right now, but I would really rather not be bothered," Len says. He shrugs her hand off of his arm, and her face immediately drops. An expression that shows she's close to tears falls into place on her young features.

"My mom loves me very much, thank you," she sniffs indignantly. "You're just a-"

"Goddammit, you've got to be kidding me."

And there's that voice, filled with bells and sugar and all the good things that a girl can be made of (how does the poem go? Sugar, spice… everything nice? Ha). The both of them turn to see the teal-eyed girl, hood drawn back and scythe gone. But her black cloak still spirals down her frame, cloth settling in all the right places to keep Len guessing as to what she looks like under there.

"I didn't know your kind could say 'God,'" Len jokes.

She holds out a hand for the girl, who approaches her readily. The youth hangs from the older girl's elbow, hidden behind the dark mass of her cloak as she peeks out at Len. "You know nothing about me or my kind," she hisses. "What the hell are you doing here? Are you following me? Just what are you?"

Len raises his hands defensively. "Hey, I'm human. I mean, as far as I know," he says. "And it's a coincidence. My sister's here. You can check with a doctor."

"Doctors can't see me. And for some reason, you can."

Len offers her a confused, innocent smile and a shrug.

She brushes away his puppy eyes and takes the girl's hand. "Whatever. Come with me, kid. I'll explain things elsewhere."

And before Len can protest, she's gone, girl in hand and glare burnt into his mind's eye.

* * *

Len first kills the neighbor's cat. It's not hard, and he doesn't feel that bad. But it's a dumb thing to do, it turns out, since the wrong one shows up.

"Yo, you can't just go around killing animals, you sicko," a preppy voice chimes in from behind him. He turns, strangled cat in hand, to see a tall pink-haired girl who looks roughly the same age as his mysterious crush. She's got one hand on her hips, one hand on a scythe, and a look of annoyance on her face.

"So you're the pain in the butt who's been bothering my dear friend," she says, curled pigtails swinging as she bends down to pick up the mewing spectre of the deceased cat. Len tosses the body away as she pets the tabby quietly, long fingers playing with the fur in a way that makes the poor creature rumble a purr from its chest.

"That would probably be me," he admitted. "I was hoping to see her."

"Well, don't kill animals to do it, you idiot," she snaps. "Animals and humans are two completely different thing. Actually, feel free to kill fish. It's hilarious to see Kaito run around all over town trying to collect their poor fishy souls. " She laughs, and Lean really does not get the joke. And who the hell is Kaito?

"So she only collects humans then?" he asks eagerly, hands sliding into his pocket.

The pink-haired girl shrugs. "Yeah. She's been changing things up recently. First it was fire related deaths, then it was height-related suicide. Then kids with cancer. Shit, she's a complete masochist." The girl shifts the cat's weight to her left side and holds a hand out for him to shake, her scythe thrown to the side like some sort of rotten old toy. "Teto Kasane, at your service. Cat reaper."

"Cat reaper?" Len echoes. "Cats get reapers?"

Teto rolls her eyes as though it should be obvious. "Duh. I mean, look at this little guy!" she hoists the cat up before realizing her mistake. "Wait! Don't look at him. You're the one who killed him, you weirdo."

Len holds his hands up defensively as she brandishes an accusatory finger at him. "Um… It was for true love?" he says in a way that sounds more like he's asking a question. Teto lowers her finger, her mouth curling into a cat-like grin.

"Well, alright. I mean, death is a normal thing. And another cute lil pussy cat has joined his cat family in cat heaven!"

_That sentence used the word cat too many times_, Len thinks to himself as he returns her smile, albeit at a watt smaller than four hundred.

"So, you love our dear Hatsune, then?" she asks. Len nods, assuming Hatsune is the name of the other reaper. "Glad to hear it! She's terrible with dates. She's got all these reapers begging for her hand in marriage, and she's stuck back in the 1600s. No dating, no sex, no boys, no nothing. Ugh," Teto rolls her eyes. The way she talks about it, Hatsune's lack of a love life physically hurts her. "You'll be good for her, even if you are a human. Just make sure to kill a human next time and I'll make sure she's there. She wants to change her death focus again, anyway. probably because you keep finding her."

Len understood less than half of what this girl had said, but he did understand the thing about murder. "And she'll show up?" he asks.

Teto nods, her fingers scratching under the cat's chin. "Oh, definitely. Rely on Aunt Teto, mister!"

Len is left in an empty yard with a grin and the body of a dead cat. With its eyes open, it looks like it's glaring at him.

"Oh, shut up," he says to it.

* * *

"Oh for God's sake, what is your problem?"

This is probably his sixth victim in as many weeks. It's started making the news, but it's not like he cares. No one's found him out yet, and here Hatsune is in front of him. Radiant as ever under a yellow streetlight.

"My problem is you," he says. She stiffens and he continues before she can say anything in response. "I mean, who let you be that beautiful? And that voice. God, that's a problem all on its own. It drives me crazy when you speak, you know?"

Hatsune rubs her eyes. "I cannot believe this," she mutters, probably more to herself than anything else. "I will get Teto back for this."

Len wears his best smile as he approaches her. "Come on, is seeing me that bad?" he asks innocently.

She repeats her greeting from their last encounter. "You are making my job so much harder than it needs to be."

"Oh, but you love me for it."

She sighs. "Look, man. I'm flattered at your interest, but I am a literal human reaper. I collect souls and send them to hell. And you are seriously encroaching on my vacation time."

Len looks at her quizzically. "Reapers get vacations?" he asks.

"That is not the point!" she snaps. "I've been running around for weeks cleaning up your stupid messes. Not only is this the exact kind of thing that lands you in hell, but I'm getting sick of it. Really, I bet you're a great guy, but for Pete's sake-"

"You know the religious references only make me more interested in you," he interrupts her with a wink. There's another sigh from her section of sidewalk.

"I swear, if I see you again, I will separate your head from your neck faster than you can say 'look what I did again.'" The threat hangs in the air as she glides past him, cloak brushing his ankle. He shivers and turn to watch her. But as usual, she's already gone by the time he's facing that way.

* * *

"You cannot be serious."

"Oh, but I am."

Len's standing on the edge of the river he's sent his latest victim into, flowers in his arm. He thinks they smell nice, kind of like the girl in front of him.

If Hatsune were a human, she might be facepalming at this point. Len thinks that might be a bit cute.

"Flowers?"

Len offers the bouquet out, that same flirtatious grin stretching his face. "Almost as pretty as you," he says. "But I don't know if I could ever find flower as beautiful as you are."

"You… Jesus, I don't even know how to respond."

Len sighs. "Well, a start would be to take a flowers."

She crosses her arms. "This is really getting ridiculous."

"I know," Len shakes his head, hands still holding the flowers out to her. "The things I do for love."

"And you're just going to keep doing this?"

Len shrugs. "Probably."

"Urgh."

It's a shock when she takes the armful of flowers, her scythe held in her opposite hand. "Fine. Let's get coffee sometime. Just stop killing people already."

Len smiles. "All you had to do was ask."

* * *

**Review if that's your thing. If not, see ya around!**


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